I Wish Wishes Come True

Yesterday I met the department head of the school of foreign languages here at my university. I had a touching experience with her that I wanted to share, because it so symbolizes the Turkish spirit. Oya was familiar with me because she has a Fulbright teaching assistant coming soon (another American!) who will work in her department (remember: I work in the English Department). She and my department head worked on getting us both here (we're the first two to come to our university through our respective programs). Anyway, we were chatting for about ten minutes, when she mentioned that she had received her PHD in Columbus, Ohio. During her time there, she went on to say, she had a miscarriage and lost her first son just a week after his birth.

Suddenly we were talking about that first week, how she breastfed him for several days, and how she went on to donate her breast milk to a milk bank in Denver. She shared how hard it was to finish her dissertation, and how she could hardly make sense of her life after the loss. Her son was buried in Ohio, actually, and she longs to return there to visit his grave. I can't imagine losing a child like that, though I know many women do, and I can't fathom the loss. At the end of that part of the conversation, she handed me a poem she'd written, and signed it: To Jennie, with all my love.

I just wanted to share this moment--which is hard to express here--because it's so symbolic to me of the generosity that so many Turks have shown just in my first week here. They've been generous with their time, their money, their emotions, their hearts. It's an irresistable quality that draws me right in and makes me feel incredible welcome and loyal at the same time. It's one of the most wonderful and touching things about Turks, a reminder of how to embrace others into my own life more completely, a reminder of what's most important in life: people, relationships, and love.

Here's the poem:

I Wish Wishes Come True

I cry day and night
Wishing to sail to you on the waves on my tears.
I dream day and night,
wishing to hug you with my thirst soul.
I want to get lost in my dreams,
wishing to wash your skin with my hungry kisses,
wishing to play with you among flowers through the summer breeze,
wishing to feed you on my milk you never tasted,
wishing to put you to bed with the softest lullabies you never heard,
wishing to chat with you through your unheard babbles,
wishing to watch your precious face while sleeping.
I smell babies,
wishing to inhale your priceless scent,
I go to your hospital, wishing to rekindle memories of joyful visits to your bed.
I try to be good to everybody,
wishing to deserve my place in Heaven next to you
I stand by your little grave,
wishing to here you whispering, "Mommy, I am not cold."
I hope my wishes come true,
Wait or me there and just pray.
I will come,
sooner or later,
it is just a breath away.

--November 1998, Columbus.